Walrus-Man

Something I haven't seen put forward as a theory yet is the possibility that yeti is actually a walrus man.



Large biped? check.
Giant fangs (tusks)? check.
Carnivorous? check.
Inhabits frozen environs? check.

Picture this:

Strictly tellurian, the walrus-man has forsaken his evolutionary progenitors' semi-aquatic lifestyle - forgoing the arctic sea in favor of the inland sierra. A handful of Himalayan hikers have encountered the walrus-man, but few have lived to tell the tale. These traumatized survivors only remember tidbits concerning large fangs and a bellicose temperament. Not terribly up on their zoology, they misidentify the lumbering creature as ape-like. You know this creature by another name: "yeti".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's easy to see how yeti may be a walrus-man, but there's an additional possibility: Were-Walrus!... i.e. a being capable of transmogrifying itself into a hybrid of a human and the bloated, zoo-dwelling pinniped from the Lewis Carroll story.



Look what this site says:

"Alaskan Eskimos believed that in the mythological past all humans, animals, and spirits could change their physical forms at will. In the nineteenth century, only spirits and shamans retained the ability to undergo transformations. The belief in transformation explains the cautious way Alaskan Eskimos dealt with strangers and animals that behaved in peculiar ways. Such beings might have been dangerous supernatural characters or hostile shamans in disguise. The theme of a walrus-man transformation was commonly expressed in Eskimo material through the use of the double tusk motif."

Could yeti have vacationed in Alaska, thus inspiring the folklore?! Millions travel there all the time. If yeti were to go on holiday to the States, I think you know where he'd go. Especially if he was a walrus-man.

Pudding, as always, yields the proof.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

According to wikipedia:

"Walruses [and, ergo, 'Walrus-Men'] are among the only mammals in the world that do not process liquid waste via a bladder organ. Once digested, liquid waste is absorbed through the lining of the small intestine and secreted through the skin."

Maybe poet and mountain-climber Jack Elastiche wasn't just being whimsical when he composed his famous "The Yeti Does Not Pee (Like You or Me)".

If Elastiche knows something we don't, why is he being so mysteriously silent on the subject? And why disguise the truth in a children's poem? To laugh at us? Jack Elastiche, I'm calling you out!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, based on the evidence at hand, I think it only natural to assume that, if yeti is in fact a walrus-man, he then hails from Astral Atlantis and is powered by an amulet.